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 崇文英语 - 8年级 2006-3期 Speed Zone WritingComment

My Birthday Party


(山东临清 刘世一)

〖情景实况〗

假如你是陈琳,今年15岁,根据文字提示和要求,以"My Birthday Party"为题,写一篇100字左右的短文。题目开头已为你写好,不计入总词数。
文字提示:birthday present, delicious food, the candles, play games
要求:
(1)短文要用上所有提示词语。
(2)语句通顺,书写工整,标点、大小写得当。
(3)要流露出生日聚会后的愉悦心情。

My Birthday Party

  I was born                                     

〖现场过招〗

My Birthday Party

I was born inMarch 10, 1989. So March 10 is my birthday. I began to give a birthday party in 1996. later on I have my birthday party every year.
Last Saturday I had my birthday party at home. A few of my friend came to my party. Everyone bought me a birthday present, and they all say, "Happy birthday to you." Then I said "Thank very much for giving me the birthday presents."
One my birthday, my mother made my birthday cake and cooked some delicious food. My friends helped me to put the candles on the big cake. Then we began the party.
I had a good time that day. We sang and played games, and ate delicious food. How happy I am!
山东省临清市先锋中学初三七班 于智超

〖名师总评〗

该篇文章是一篇记叙文,层次分明,叙事清楚,首尾呼应,开头点明主题,结尾说明了作者生日聚会后的愉悦心情,从而产生了对生日聚会的怀念之感。语言生动、流畅,但也存在词汇和语法方面的错误。

〖精讲点拨〗

① 在英语中,年、月、日前的介词使用是:某年、某月、某年某月前用in,某日、某月某日或某年某月某日前用on。in表示“较长的一段时间”,on则多用于表示“……日”或特定情况下的早晨、上午、下午和晚上。
② 短语a few of后要接名词的复数形式。
③ 动作发生在过去,应用一般过去式。
④ thank用作动词表示“感谢……”,后要接宾语,即thank you; 用作名词时为thanks。因此,此处应改为Thanks或Thank you。
⑤ 事情发生在过去,am应用was。

〖存盘备用〗

My Birthday Party

I was born on March 10, 1989. So March 10 is my birthday. I began to give a birthday party in 1996. Later on I have my birthday party every year.
Last Saturday I had my birthday party at home. A few of my friends came to my party. Everyone bought me a birthday present, and they all said, "Happy birthday to you." Then I said "Thank you very much for giving me the birthday presents."
On my birthday, my mother made my birthday cake and cooked some delicious food. My friends helped me to put the candles on the big cake. Then we began the party.
I had a good time that day. We sang and played games, and ate delicious food. How happy I was!


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